Saturday– November 5, 2005
Training: 8 hr drive to Belgium and then 20 mins on the course with some strides?Where: Wachtebeke, Belgium?Quotes: "It's a little soft…" -Me to the people in the "slow van"…who arrived 2 hrs. later than we did and didn't see the course because it would not go over 105km per hour…meanwhile, The FritzBoss van cruised along!!!
A scene from the course. 
The course: The ground was soft all the way through and a lot of muddy spots (the kind that you could get your shoe sucked off in) and a lot of sharp turns. The start filtered down into a small space after maybe 30 meters so you had to make sure you had a good start. There was one hill that you had to run up and down twice each loop. It was the hill that Skinny used to call a "stinger"…not real long, but steep enough for your legs to "sting" after you ran up it! Then you would just do the same loops over and over again…4.5 k was 3 loops, 6k 4 loops, 9k 6 loops etc…)
Sunday– November 6, 2005
Training: RACE DAY!!! ?Where: Wachtebeke, Belgium?Quotes: "There are a couple of words I could use to describe my race…but why don't we rate it PG and I will say it was just ugly." - Me
"You have to go into your next race with a positive mindset. Don't go in thinking 'Maybe I will run well'…But go into it thinking 'I WILL run well.'" Translated by me
-Ueli…who calmed me down when I was real pissed…I mean, really upset….
So I had a bad race…And RATIONALLY…this is what advice I would give to me if I weren't myself…giving myself advice…if that makes ANY sense…hahahhaha
A-hem "We all have bad races. You can't have a good race every time you are out there and just because you have ONE bad race most definitely does NOT mean you are training wrong or that you suck. (sorry if you don't like that word)…Did you give it your best? Well if you did, then there is nothing else you could have done. And if you didn't, then this will only motivate you to do your best next time because you see how much it pissed you off this time. Don't give up, don't get discouraged, and most importantly, don't doubt yourself or your training. You have been working hard and it WILL pay off. You have to learn some sort of lesson from each race. Take that lesson and that lesson only, WITHOUT any negativity. Take the lesson, MOVE ON, MOVE AHEAD, don't dwell on the bad race and just look ahead. Let the bad race motivate you."
BUT, HERE is the psychology of a runner who has just had a bad race, coming from a runner who has just had a bad race….these are inner thoughts of course so they may not make sense at times
"Sh…I mean CRAP! What am I doing wrong? Maybe I have been running my regular runs too slow..maybe my workouts aren't hard enough…maybe I am not adapting to my training yet…maybe I need to eat differently…maybe I am not psycho or obsessed enough…No, no, no, Josi, don't let that negativity seep in. Get over it. You have next Sunday in Tilburg…a new day, a new race…don't think about this one…trust yourself, trust your training, trust your coach…sh…, I don't want to make my coach look bad because I had a bad race…He believes in you and now you let him down…No no no, he won't stop believing in you just because of one race!!! Josi, you are supposed to be strong, don't show how upset you are in front of these younger runners…but dammit, it really sucked. It didn't even just suck a little…it sucked A LOT"
The one lonely hill…yeah, that lil thing…
Right after I cooled down, I talked to Livia about my race since she didn't have her best day either and she and I are convinced that it was because Astrid didn't come with and the Thuner Trio was incomplete! Livia and I rationalized at that time…we said oh well, we did our best and now it is over so we can only move ahead…easier said than done as usual…
So "it" hit me again later after dinner…My thoughts on my bad race returned and I started spiraling down into self doubt again and into negative thoughts…
And then Ueli came to the rescue at the exact time I needed it and told me exactly what I needed to be told from SOMEONE else with experience…"You have to go into your next race with a positive mindset. Don't go in thinking 'Maybe I will run well'…But go into it thinking 'I WILL run well.'" Ueli basically gave me the speech I would give myself, but he was speaking from personal experience as well. He really did give me the talk when I needed it…before I plunged deeper into self doubt…So thank you old bag Ueli for bringing your race experience to me…It is funny, because I totally agreed with everything he said, and I totally understood…but somehow it does not have the same effect when I try and tell myself the same thing.
So after this whole spiel, it was time to go bowling…the group decided to go out a bit…I figured it was better to go and do something instead of sit in my room and just be upset…
After bowling I came back to the hotel and those darned thoughts started creeping back into my mind again…and then someone else came to the rescue….CONRAD!!! (Conrad is an awesome coach…I have just now learned to take what he says as advice and not as a lecture…thank you Cone…I love you) It feels good when there are people who support you and there are others to talk to about your ups and downs. Oh man oh man.
The bottom line: I am not a quitter and one bad race surely is not the end of the world. I leave this now for you all to read and I am not going to think of "it" again…I am only taking a lesson from this race with me and the experience and I am leaving the negativity on here…I share this information only because I want to show you what goes through my mind and try to convey the importance of surrounding yourself with positive thinkers and talkers when you need them most!!! This race is behind and now I am only looking ahead to the next two qualifying races!!! Sunday: Tilburg, Holland … Nov. 27th: Paris, France
Good night!!! It is only 9, but I am so tired and am going to sleep!!! Eight hours was not a terrible drive, but I am tired of sitting up.
Thanks for all of you who support me through it all!!!
I found out a reasonable goal would have been top 15…I was 25th…tap, tap moving on (Right, Skinny?) Right!!!
NEXT: November 7, 8, 9 -- Time for a little emo
PREVIOUS: November 3, 4 – Even I can be shy...
INDEX: Unfinished Business -- Former PA XC state champion Josi Lauber's post-collegiate adventure.